My hat with wings

I think I found the perfect hat with wings.

The music of my life

Their arguing about reading music is hilarious. I don’t understand much, but it sure is a welcome change from who lost whose Polly Pocket dress or who stole whose Lego piece…

A friend said that welcoming music in one's home is truly a gift. She could not have said it better.

Dear January sun

Dear January sun, please come again soon.

Weaving

He looked at YouTube videos of weaving to help her set up her loom for a scarf (the instructions in the box were all in German). Then, after our ski outing, when we came back home, the whole place smelled of warm croissants (he had put them in a very low oven before we left). And yesterday, he helped me backup my computer files (it took hours...how can someone so organized as I am in real life have such a messy files system?) Could he be any more awesome?

Ski outing

Last week, we discovered the perfect spot for cross-country skiing right by our house.  (It's free and there is nobody there, even on Saturdays!! Shhh!). The temperature was finally decent enough to go skiing today and, as the girls had been asking to go skiing for the last two weeks, we expected it to be a great outing. 

I don't know if you remember learning to cross-country ski, but I sure do. There is a lot of falling, slipping backward while you try to climb hills, learning to walk like a penguin and struggling to get up the slightest of hills.  Add to that the biting wind, the frozen toes and fingers and the parents who lose their cool (hey, we are human!) and you've got yourself a memorable experience.

Well, against all odds, I truly enjoyed gliding on the fresh snow. I love opening the trail in front, when you cannot even see the elevation because of the perfect whiteness. It was meditative. Well, for five minutes. But, hey, I'll take all the meditation I can find.

 :: Five minutes before the big meltdown ::

Patching pieces together

We baked Hollyhock spiced carrot muffins for snack and cocoa banana cake for dessert. I forgot to put the milk in the cake and we didn’t have a bundt pan. When I fliped the cake onto the rack, it broke into pieces. I lost my cool. I needed to feel good about something I could control and I thought that having snack, dinner and dessert ready by 4 pm would make me feel good. Like a small victory.
 
I feel like I am coming apart at the seams. My edges are frayed. There are holes in my patience, rips in my sense of humor.

I put lots of frosting on the cake. Patching pieces together. Mending my soul.

Possibilities

I love waking up with a different thought every day.  

Even if it is only a possibility.

Bursted bubbles

I didn't accomplish a thing today. I ignored the dust bunnies and the mess on every surface. I braved the cold and went outside to snap a few pictures. Mathilde and I laughed as the saran wrap-looking pieces of bursted bubbles floated around us. It was glorious.

Gravity's law

How surely gravity's law,
strong as an ocean current,
takes hold of even the smallest thing
and pulls it toward the heart of the world.

Each thing 
Each stone, blossom, child
is held in place

Only we, in our arrogance,
push out beyond what we each belong to
for some empty freedom.

If we surrendered
to earth's intelligence
we could rise up rooted, like trees.

Instead we entangle ourselves
in knots of our own making
and struggle, lonely and confused.

(...)
This is what the things can teach us:
to fall,
patiently to trust our heaviness.
Even a bird has to do that
before he can fly.

-Rainer Maria Rilke, quoted by Bill Plotkin in Soulcraft, a great book I am reading right now.

I used to do so much

I used to do so much. I am slowing down now. Not rushing through everything anymore. I have no more to-do list. It's a big relief. But still, something doesn't feel quite right.

This really speaks to me right now and I understand better why I feel the way I do:

“Freedom does not come from a checklist, and a ‘zero inbox’ is not a life aspiration.

If liberation is a chore, it’s not really liberation.

You can’t contract your way to freedom.

You can’t punish your way to joy.

You can’t fight your way to inner peace.

The journey has to feel the way you want the destination to feel.

Let me offer this again, in reverence to your life force:

The journey has to feel the way you want the destination to feel.

And again, with respect to your potential:

The journey has to feel the way you want the destination to feel.”

~Danielle La Porte

Growing up

In the very same day, I get glimpses of her all grown up,
and then I look at her again, and she's still my little girl. 

When did I become that mom who feels like kids growing up is bittersweet?

On hats and wings

I am sorry if my post from yesterday worried some of you. This winter is quite hard on me. I suffer from SAD big time and our re-entry after 2 years of traveling has been hard. Harder still is the lingering stress that comes with the fluctuating income of freelancing.

We have big dreams and tons of plans, but those might have to wait. We have tough decisions to make right now. We will try to see them as the next leg in our adventure. Even if for now, they feel more like a detour.

There are many possibilities right now. Like as many hats that I keep trying on. The problem is: none of them fit. And they are all ugly.
I didn't want a hat. I wanted wings.

P.S. If you know anybody that requires translation (English and French), proofreading or editing services, contact us. We have more than 12 years experience. We are working on our website right now, but you can write at jfroldan@espacetraduction.ca

Finding peace

I  am terrified of what is ahead of us. I am trying to be at peace. I keep repeating to myself that sometimes really wonderful things happen in life when you least expect it. I could be surprised. I really wish I will be. 

Snow

A dark day with lots of snow outside. Inside: reading, a violin practice, dancing while making apple crumble. His hugs. Always. I feel loved.

Multitasking

I talked to her on the phone while I simultaneously listened to Aïsha practicing her piano and exchanged photo information with a friend on FB. No wonder my grandma said that the problem with our generation is the multitasking.

My dad

I listened as they asked him about welding, retirement money and my grandma’s career. It reminded me why I loved to ask him questions when I was their age (and still do).

New layers

       On the drive back in the fog, it hit me : there are no new beginnings.
       Only new layers.

Rapunzel

They wanted to make a Rapunzel movie. They were so darn serious about it, it was inspiring to witness.

Laughing

She made awesome pizza. We laughed when we tried to transfer it from her new wooden paddle onto the hot pizza stone. I wish I was better at laughing in general. And at myself in particular.

Quiet

Pages flipping. Him typing. Raindrops on the metal roof (yes, we have rain. In Québec. In January).
Everything is quiet. And I exhale
There is joy in knowing that another full day is over. And relief too.

That kind of week

Calling her to go for a walk around the block was the best decision I made this week. And then, going sliding.

The clean slate

I liked the idea of a clean slate. A fresh start.

For some reason I was disappointed when I realized the New Year didn't bring a different perspective.